Change Will Come
by tardisseeker
Summary: Music was always a big part of her life, but when she found the band that would soon sing her to sleep each night, her whole perspective changed. She needed it to make it through each day. When she meets her hero's a bit too early during the worst year of her life her world is turned inside out as she fights for her sanity and they fight to keep her alive.
1. Chapter 1

My whole body vibrated with the sounds coming from the stadium. The half time show. I've never cared about them, they're just a time to go get more popcorn and sodas. They're always the same thing. Two mascots fighting each other for a laugh or some kid prodigy performing to make everyone else look bad. Why waste your time with it.

But that wasn't the reason I was walking the crowded corridors of the building. Me, being me, didn't notice that the rest of my basketball team had left the stands at some point during the first half without telling me. Who knows where they went. And did I care? Not that much. This was the last time I would have to deal with them again. But, still, I was looking for them.

Maybe it was the little hope left in me that believed that they hadn't left me completely. Maybe they were just getting some food or gone to the bathroom. Surely they hadn't left. I didn't really want to see them again anyway but I felt like I had something to finish with them. I had to end this properly. Had to go out with a bang. And that was my hatred speaking.

I tried many rooms, opened many doors. Apologized to many people. I asked the same question over and over again; "Have you seen a big group of girls?" and I got the same answer each time; "No, I haven't." Some people didn't even answer, didn't even look at me. But, I suppose I was used to it. A lot of people don't listen to what I say.

I could hear claps and yells coming from the entrances to the main event all around me. I sighed as I reached to my pocket to pull out my phone. I pressed the power button, checking the time. I'd been walking for about twenty minutes now. The second half of the game would be starting soon.

I shoved my phone back in my jeans pocket and quickened my pace. I didn't want them to get away with this. I had to find them, for the sake of my sanity. I had to finish what had started.

I rounded another corner, probably for the fourth time, and kept walking. I dodged people as I went. No one was paying attention. They were either on their phones or eating a hotdog that was dripping ketchup on the floor. They were all the same. Every last one of them.

I looked to my left and saw another door. I stopped for a moment, waiting for a couple to pass me before I cut towards it. I didn't bother knocking. I was growing too impatient for that. I grabbed hold of the handle and pulled it open, throwing myself into the room. I found myself face to face with four men surrounded by instruments. I didn't think much of it. "Have you guys seen a big group of girls?" I asked them quickly. One of them, a guy with blonde hair, looked to his friends before saying no to me. I sighed before I spoke again. "Alright, thanks." I said sarcastically. Just like that, I turned around to leave.

But I didn't make it out. I stopped before I reached the door, my head running wild. It couldn't be, there was no way. They weren't even in my country right now. So, why did I think it was them? Only one way to find out if it really is.

I turned around as I mumbled "What the heck." under my breath. All four of them were looking at me, watching my every move. And I was right. It was them, and I lost the ability to speak for a few moments. I just stared at them, not believing what I was seeing.

I let myself calm down before anything else. When I was feeling brave enough I spoke. "Fall Out Boy?" It came out in a short breath. Pete and Joe both raised their eyebrows at me. It made me nervous. I was gonna leave, I knew it. I was gonna ruin the one time I actually would get to talk to them because I was a chicken. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "What are you guys doing here?"

Pete looked over to the rest of the band before he spoke. It seemed like he wanted someone else to do it for him. When he looked back at me I realized I was shaking. Badly. "We just did the halftime show." He told me. I felt my heart fall to the pit of my stomach. I had missed my chance to see them live for the first time. They were right there. "Since when?" I asked them, holding back some tears. "Ah, I few days ago we got word that we were going to be here for a day or two so we booked a few things." Pete smiled. "Never been here before." I wanted to smile back but I couldn't. I couldn't get over the fact that I had missed it.

I raised my hand to run it over my ponytail as I sniffed. Still trying not to break down. "I missed it, I didn't know you guys were here. I was looking for my basketball team." I said as I looked at them. My eyes weren't really focused though. I was lost in thought. Of what could have been.

When I snapped out of my trance I looked at them for real this time. Taking it in. They were really there. I wanted to remember it, but I didn't stay long. Me being in here was wrong. I held up a hand in front of me, hopefully reassuring them but also me, as I spoke. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to barge in. I-I'm really, really sorry." I said quickly as I turned again to leave.

But, again, I didn't make it out. "Wait." I heard Pete say to me. I knew that I couldn't stop the tears now. They were falling heavily down my face as I turned to face the band again. I saw Pete's eyes widen. "Woah, are you okay?" He asked me, his voice full of concern. I tried really hard to stop but it didn't look like it would. I nodded as I let more words slide out of my mouth in sobs. "I just wasn't expecting this today." I took a deep breath. "You don't get it. You really don't get it."

 _ **I really hope you guys enjoy this first part! It's my first Fall Out Boy story so I'm a little nervous! This book will also have a lot of references to my life, the OC character is very much like myself, so it's kind of a personal story. Anyways, I'm sure you'll know plenty about me by the end! This is also a celebration of the band (that sounded very cheesy, oops.) because they've touched many lives and they really deserve it! Tell me what you think of it if you like! Enjoy!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_"You don't get it. You really don't get it."_ The words came out of my mouth in sobs and I could barely look at them. My favorite band in the whole word. They had changed my life. They had saved it. I was ruining probably the only chance I would ever have to talk to them because I couldn't get it together. I was an embarrassment. I felt so small.

But I still wanted to tell them everything that I wanted to say. I had so much to say to them, so much I needed them to know.

I brought my eyes off of the ground and to them again. When I saw their faces it made me feel worse, but I kept going. "Sometimes it's really hard." I started, my breathing uneven. "Some days I don't even want to get out of bed. I try really hard, I always have. And I looked for something that helped for a long time." I stopped for a second and looked down at my feet, gathering myself again. "And it was you guys, and your music. You describe everything perfectly, in a beautiful and creative way." I smiled a bit as I looked at them. Andy and Pete shared a look, I couldn't describe it though. "You always know what to say."

"And I just want to let you know, because I think it's really important that you do. I mean, obviously, thank you. Thank you so much. But, that's not what I really wanted to say. I wanted to let you know that," I took a deep breath, forcing the words out of my mouth. I had to finish. "Fall Out Boy saves lives."

This time I saw all of them smile and it lifted my spirits a little bit. The tears were falling less heavily down my face. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. "And it's not just mine but so many others too. Thousands of other people just like me feel the same way." I smiled. It really was true, everything I was saying. I had always wanted to tell them this. They deserved to know. I took a deep breath before finishing. "I just really wanted to make sure that you knew that."

The room was filled with silence. None of us were speaking. I didn't know what to say next. What was I supposed to? And what did I expect them to say? I didn't know either. I just did my best to avoid their faces, looking at the floor, still trying to calm myself. I took in a deep breath before exhaling. I did this multiple times. It was what my therapist had taught me to do.

"What's your name?" I knew that voice, very well in fact. It sang me to sleep each night. I took my eyes off of the ground to look at him. He was staring at me, which made me a bit nervous. "Madison." I said. "Madison Isaac." Patrick smiled. "How old are you?" I furrowed my eyebrows. Odd question. But okay. "I'm fifteen." He nodded. "And that would make you in grade..." He motioned for me to finish the sentence. "10."

At this point the guys were all looking at Patrick. Pete had a look of confusion plastered on while Joe and Andy both looked very proud for some reason. What was going on? "What school do you go to?" This question really stung me. Why would he care? It's not like he would know it. "Um, why does it matter?" I asked sounding confused. He shook his head, "Just tell me." 'Okay', I thought. "CBA." I told him. I crossed my arms in front of my chest as I sighed. I hoped these questions were done.

Just like that the room erupted with laughter and yells. I stood there watching as the four of them high fived each other, smiles spread across their faces. It was great to see them happy, but about what? "What's going on? Did I miss something?" I asked, trying to be heard over the commotion. It took a few seconds for them to quiet down but finally Pete turned to me, no longer wearing that look of confusion, and said, "We're performing there tomorrow."

My eyes widened at this news and my chest was pounding. "What? Since when?" I asked them. Pete was about to answer but I answered it for myself. "Oh, since a few days ago." I laughed as I said this. This was incredible news. Hopefully tomorrow would make today look better than ever.

I realized something as I stood there smiling with the band. I was no longer crying and I was so much more relaxed. I wasn't upset anymore, at least not as much as I had been. My chest wasn't pounding and my hands weren't sweaty either. I felt normal. More normal than I had in months. Years even. I had dreamed of this moment over and over so many times and yes, it was a little bumpy at first, but I got to say everything that I wanted to tell them out. It felt so good. I felt great.

"So, tell us about yourself." I heard Andy say. I was still smiling when I asked him why. "Because we haven't spoken to an actual person in days." Pete told me as he pointed to Patrick, Joe and Andy. I laughed a bit. "What do you want to know? I mean, I'm not the most interesting person around but I'd like somewhere's to start." I said. No body answered for a moment but soon Andy spoke up again. "How about hobbies." I nodded in agreement.

"I like to read, I read a lot. Mostly fiction now but I'm also a sucker for sci-fi. I draw as well. People, but I'm not very good. It's just a pass time." I giggled as I realized how stupid what I was about to say was going to sound. "I play Sudoku. I'm really good at it. I can finish a level five puzzle in about twenty minutes." The band laughed and I heard Joe mumble under his breath, "Cool." I ran a hand through my ponytail before I continued. "I also listen to music a lot. Honestly, all the time. Your music to be specific. But there's others too. I just like yours the most." I smiled shyly as I looked down at my feet again.

 _ **So sorry that I haven't updated in so long! I thought I would be quicker but apparently not. But, Christmas break is fast approaching so I'll have some more time to update! Until then, I hope you enjoy this new part! Here and in the coming chapter is where you will really start to get to know Madison (who you now know the name of!) and about her past! I really hope you all like it!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_"I also listen to music a lot. Honestly, all the time. Your music to be specific. But there's others too. I just like yours the most." I smiled shyly as I looked down at my feet again._ I felt my cheeks burn red but I shrugged it off. I looked at them again, smiling, still over the moon that this was happening.

"Play any sports?" Pete asked me. I nodded. "I played basketball for six years. Always a B team player. I don't mean to sound mean or anything, but I was one of the better players. This year I made the A team for the city. It changed my life. I went from the top of B to the bottom of A." I stopped to breath for a minute. This had been weighing me down for the past few months. Slowly taking away everything I loved. "The reason I loved basketball was because I just got to play. I didn't care about wins and status, I just wanted to be out there. It was a way of coping, you know? When I transitioned to A that was taken away. I was benched for games at a time. Same thing happened with the school team. But worse. I was benched for tournaments at a time."

"My confidence plummeted. I'd be up a 5:30 in the morning to go practice for the school team then I'd go to school tired and half focused. After school I'd have a school game and when that was over I'd go out to practice for the city till 10:30. There was no time for homework. My grades dropped, I never slept, my anxiety almost killed me and my depression took an all time high. I was a mess."

I had to stop again before I started to cry. I knew that they probably didn't want to hear this. I know that they probably didn't care a whole lot. But, it felt nice to get it out there. To talk about it without being forced to.

"I quit the school team because I knew I would end up dead if I didn't. I finished the season with city and my last game was great. Probably because I knew it would be my last. I'm here today with that team, watching the game. Well, yeah, you know how that went." I finished. I smiled shyly as I apologized for rambling. Patrick shook him head as he smiled back at me. I cleared my throat. "I also bike." This made the band laugh.

After we had all calmed down again Andy asked me another question. This time about my family.

"My mom works for the police, shift work. My dad works for the post office. He collapsed when I was in grade six during my sisters birthday. Urinated disc in his back. He's had two surgery's and a heart attack caused from a surgery from it. He can't deliver mail anymore so he works in the plant sorting it instead."

"I grew up really fast because of this. Someone had to be home to make sure that things ran smoothly. My sister is really stubborn and honestly, I don't get on too well with her. I just give her her space. I have a dog too, Bruin. She's my favorite of the family."

You know when people try to get you to tell them something by telling you that you'll feel better after? Then, when you finally tell them, you don't feel that great after. This is because you don't really want to say it. It's forced out of you. And more than ever, I think it hurts. This conversation that I'm having with the band, there's no force at all. I'm doing it because I want to. They didn't ask me to. And I feel great. I was ready to tell someone. This scenario is one that will make you feel better not worse and I appreciate it so much.

I felt like I was done talking about myself. I never really enjoyed it. But, I'm happy that they listened. I didn't want them to say anything back, just to listen. I didn't even have to tell them this. They already knew what to do.

I reached around to my back pocket of my jeans and pulled out my phone. It was cold in my hands. I looked down at it and then up at the boys. "Would you guys mind if we took a picture?" I asked, my voice shaking a little. Patrick smiled at me and said, "Of course!" As soon as he said this he was making his way out of the room. I turned to watch him go as he passed me. What was he doing? I turned back to the remaining band members and we talked for a few minutes about their tour that was coming up for the summer.

Soon, Patrick came back, but he had a man with him. I turned to him and raised my eyebrows. Patrick patted the mans shoulder as he spoke. "This lovely man is going to take our picture." I smiled as I walked towards Patrick. I handed him my phone which he gave to the man. I watched as he too gave his phone to the man. Pete, Andy and Joe all did the same. I shook it off even though it was a little weird.

The four of us came together in front of the man. I was in the middle next to Patrick and Andy. Joe was on the other side of Patrick and Pete was next to Andy. I felt immediately self conscious as Patrick placed his hand on my waist pulling me in closer. We all smiled as our pictures were taken. It was the biggest smile I'd had in months.

After the pictures were taken Patrick thanked the man and he left. Patrick closed the door behind him and turned back to us, clapping his hands together. "Let's have some fun, shall we?" I couldn't help but smile.

 ** _Yay, new part! I hope you guys enjoy it and if I don't get a new chapter in by Christmas, happy Holidays! If you're a Doctor Who fan, enjoy the Christmas special! I know I can't wait! Thanks again you guys!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_Patrick closed the door behind him and turned back to us, clapping his hands together. "Let's have some fun, shall we?" I couldn't help but smile._ He walked past me, heading over to the corner of the room. I turned to watch him as he reached down into a bag that was sitting on the floor. He pulled out a dock station. My eyebrows came together in confusion but I didn't speak. He walked along the wall, checking ever few steps he took for an outlet. When he finally found one he smiled as he plugged it in.

When he stood back up he held out his hand to me. "Want me to plug it in?" He asked kindly. I stared at him for a moment before I told him yes. I reached back into my pocket and pulled out my phone. He took it from me and bent down to plug it in. Within a few seconds the sounds of "Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes" were filling the room. Patrick laughed as he stood up. I felt my face get warm as I realized what playlist he had picked.

My embarrassment didn't last long though. As soon as the rest of the band caught on to what Patrick was doing they joined in. They started dancing (if you'd even call it dancing) and singing along to the words in their worst voices possible. It was quite a sight. I found myself laughing and moments later joining them.

It would be a lie if I told you that I wasn't having a good time. I was having the best time I'd had in months. For once, I was able to forget everything that had happened, everything that was going on in my life and just have fun. I was finally enjoying myself. The fact that it was with my favorite band just made it even better.

I don't know how long this lasted, a half hour, an hour, maybe? We were all just fooling around, talking to each other, singing and dancing. I knew that they didn't like listening to their own music but I suppose they were just listening to make me feel better. They didn't have to though. But they still did.

At one point, Joe walked over to a fridge that was against the wall and pulled out a beer. Me and Andy were talking when he came over to us. I watched him open the can and take a sip. After he swallowed he nodded to me. "Do you want one?" Andy started laughing and I found myself laughing along with him. I shook my head no as Patrick came over from talking to Pete. He had overheard what Joe had said. "She's 15, no, she can't have a beer." He said, a little more seriously than I would have thought. Joe shrugged. "Just offering, didn't want to be rude and not offer." He said with a smile as he took another sip. Patrick chuckled a bit as me and Andy laughed again.

As the night continued we all ended up sitting on some couches. I sat next to Andy and Patrick, with Pete and Joe on the other side of Patrick. The music was still coming from the speakers and I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

I pulled my arm up to check the time. I realized that the game would be over now and my parents would be looking for me. I sighed as I let my arm fall on my lap. The last thing I wanted was for them to be more mad at me then they probably already were. I guess the good moments can't last forever.

"Guys?" I spoke up, interrupting their conversations. They all looked at me. I glanced down at my lap before continuing. "Tomorrow, when you guys come to my school, could you guys play "The Mighty Fall"?" I asked them. They all turned their heads, looking at each other for any protests, before Pete spoke up saying that they would love to. I smiled at them in thanks.

I pushed myself off of the couch with a little difficulty but soon I was standing in front of them all. I was still smiling as I told them that I would have to go. Patrick, Andy and Pete sighed and Joe started to fake cry. This made me laugh. One by one they all came up to give me a hug. I was on cloud nine. I had always wanted to tell them how much they meant to me and I had done just that. They had surprised me as well. I never would have thought that they would ask me to stay. But they did, and I had a great time. They made me forget what was going on in my life for this little bit.

When Patrick hugged me, he held me tighter than the others did. It was reassuring and it was just like I had imagined it. Before he let go he whispered something in my ear. "Everything's going to be alright." I froze at his words, my brain running one hundred miles an hour. Did I say something that I shouldn't have? Did I worry him? Why would he be worried? It's not his responsibility. Did he see my scars?

I pulled back and nodded at him with a smile. He smiled back. I took a breath before I ran my hands over my legs, a habit I had become accustomed to. Patrick stepped back so that he was standing with the rest of his band. I looked at them as I spoke. "Thank you so much for letting me stay tonight, you really didn't have to. I had a great time!" I told them. "It was cool getting to know you." Pete said. The rest of the band nodded in agreement. I smiled as I turned to leave. "See you guys tomorrow." I told them as I left the room feeling better than I had in ages.


	5. Chapter 5

_"See you guys tomorrow." I told them as I left the room feeling better than I had in ages._

I barely slept that night. I just kept replaying the days events over and over in my head. I wanted to remember every moment, everything that was said and everything that was done. I never wanted to forget it.

I was also thrilled about the coming day. Finally, I was going to see them perform for the first time, earlier than I was suppose to as well! It made my heart melt every time I thought about it.

When my alarm went off in the morning, I was quick out of bed. I put on a blue sweater that had zigzag patterns on it in red, purple and pink. I paired this with some black leggings and some brown combat boots. I put my hair up in a ponytail and cleaned up a bit more before I had some waffles for breakfast. I was out the door in record time.

I sat quietly on the bus with my music pumping through my headphones. This was my routine. It calmed me before the usually stressful day at school. It was my time to sit and think about everything.

When I got to school I started the day with science. I didn't pay much attention. My head was spinning and my face hurt from smiling to myself.

Finally, second period came and they called all the classes down to the gym. I found my best friend, Louna, as quick as I could and everything that had happened the night before came out to her. She stared at me in shock as I spoke, but I was happy that she didn't think I was lying. I told her everything but the fact that they would be here today.

"I can't believe you met Fall Out Boy!" She told me excitedly. I laughed. "I know, I still can't believe it. It feels so unreal." Me and her were walking through the crowd of people piled in the gym, trying to find a better place to stand. "And they just let you stay?" She asked. I scrunched my eyebrows up as I thought about it. "Yeah, they did. But, when you think about it, it is a bit weird, isn't it? Why did they let me stay?" I questioned out loud.

We finally found a spot a little bit off to the right of the stage that was set up by the changing room wall. I pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I watched some of the people around me. The thing about all of this, even after I fell apart and everything went wrong, I still took something away from it. I learned from my experience. I'm still experiencing it now, so I'm still learning as well. People don't care. It's something that should be in their nature but it's not. It's a rare character trait that I have happily obtained. The problem is, my caring about everyone else has sent me down a road of forgetting myself, which can be a dangerous thing.

I was drawn from my thoughts when Louna spoke. "What do you think this assembly is for?" She asked me. I felt my cheeks warm up as I told her that I had no idea what it was about. I just hoped that she wouldn't hear the sarcasm in my voice. "I'm sure it'll be good though." I added. She turned to look at me, confused. "Why do you say that?" She questioned. I raised my shoulders in a shrug. "I always enjoy these things for the most part. It gets me out of class and the performance is always moderately entertaining. It's a win-win situation, really." I told her. I studied her face for a response. She took a moment to think and then she nodded in agreement. I smiled.

I looked up to the stage in front of me. The school's principal, Mrs. Dove, was walking on stage. When she reached the mic that was centered in the middle she tapped it once before speaking to the whole school. "Welcome, everyone, to today's assembly. We have some very special performers here with us. They came together as a band in the early 2000's in the suburbs of Chicago. Since then, they've become one of the most successful, loved and recognized rock bands of the last decade." My heart was pounding at this point and my smile was plastered on to my face. "Please welcome, Fall Out Boy!" She finished her introduction and I yelled. I clapped my hands as Pete, Patrick, Andy and Joe all came on stage. I felt something hit my arm and I turned to see Louna, wide-mouthed and everything, jumping up and down next to me. "Did you know about this?" She asked me between her yells. I laughed at her excitement as I nodded.

I watched Patrick walk up to the microphone. When he got there he waved a bit to everyone. He was wearing a smile and he looked genuinely happy to be here. Everyone quieted down when then noticed that he was going to speak. He flashed a look behind him before he started. "Hi, um, I suppose we'll start with introductions. I'm Patrick." He told everyone. The rest of the band each took their turn telling everyone their name. "And we're Fall Out Boy. We've been a band for, well, we'll round to 15 years, and we've done a lot of different sounding stuff. We've tried a lot of different things so today we're kind of just going to play a little bit of everything." He adjusted his fedora on his head. "Hope you guys enjoy."

He was just about to start playing his guitar when Pete poked his arm. He turned quickly to face him. I watched as the two of them exchanged words and soon Pete pointed over to me. I felt my face get warm again when Patrick saw me. He started to smile and then proceeded to wave. I did the same back.

He went back to the microphone and started to talk again. "Last night we played the halftime show for the Rainmen game downtown and after we had done our set we went back into this room. While we were in there this girl walked in and she was looking for her basketball team."

 ** _New year, new part! I hope you enjoy this one and I'll get back on soon hopefully! I'll be a bit busy as school is starting back up in two days and exams are in a few weeks. But enjoy, and happy new year!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay, so this part is where I've made some modifications. In this story, before the hiatus, the band will have played a song that caused Patrick to get upset on stage. Since that day, the band have never played that song. It's not that big a deal but I think this'll help with the comprehension of the next few chapters and it's impact. Hope you enjoy!**_

 _"Last night we played the halftime show for the Rainmen game downtown and after we had done our set we went back into this room. While we were in there this girl walked in and she was looking for her basketball team."_ He told everyone. My heart started to beat faster as I realized he was talking about me. "Oh my god." I whispered to myself in total disbelief.

"We got to know her a bit and she told us something that meant quite a bit to us. I don't know if she realized it though. She told us that our band saves lives." He stopped for a moment to take a breath. Louna nudged me gently and I looked at her. She had a smile plastered on her face as she nodded. I nodded back in response.

"You know, when some people start a band all they want to do is make music. Some want fame and money and that's all they're really doing it for. Just to be there. To be known. Maybe that's what we were like, I mean, it probably was." He laughed a bit. "But we've been doing this a long time and our motives have changed as we have. We want to have an impact now. We want to help, we want to be there but to really _be_ there. We want to be remembered for being a band that connected with people, in a positive way. We want to share our experiences and not all of them were good." I looked over at Pete who looked over at Patrick. Thinking about it made me feel sick for a second.

"Yeah, we still want to make music, of course we do but if we can make one person happy in the run of a day then that's what I want to do. That's what she told us. She sort of proved to us that we were doing what we wanted to do. That all of this is worth it." Patrick raised his hand to his head to adjust his fedora before he continued. "She asked us to do something today. She wants us to play "The Mighty Fall". So without further talking, Madison, this is for you."

And with that, they started to play one of my favorite tracks off of Save Rock And Roll. I felt eyes drawn towards me and for a split second I wanted to run and hide, away from their glares. But then I remembered why I was here. I was here, listening to my favorite band live, who I had met last night, and who had just mentioned me to everyone in my school and I couldn't be happier. Nothing else mattered. Nor the people or what they thought about me. This was my time, not theirs.

As the song came to a close, I came eye to eye with Pete. He motioned with his hand for me to come up. My heart skipped a beat with excitement.

I turned to Louna who was still wearing her look of complete and utter happiness and told her that Pete wanted me to come up. She looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh my god, really?" I nodded back. "Are you going to go?" She asked me. I laughed a bit. "Of course I am." I replied. She waved her hand at someone passing before she told me to tell Pete that she said hello. I told her I would and then turned away from her to start walking up to the stage. I didn't get far before her voice stopped me. I turned to face her, my eyebrows raised in question. She smiled shyly at me. "Ask them if they can play "Alone Together"." She told me kindly. I tilted my head to the side, amused by my best friend, and smiled. "I'll see what they can do." I replied.

I made my way up to the stage, pushing people gently to made room for myself. I mumbled random "sorry"'s as I passed through. When I reached the stairs Pete was waiting for me at the top. I smiled at him as he pulled me into a hug. After a few seconds he let go and we both were smiling. I took a breath before I started talking. "You guys are doing incredible! I can't believe this is happening! Thank you so much." I told him. He laughed as he waved to some student near the front on the stage. "Glad you're enjoying it." He replied.

I let my eyes wander over Pete's shoulders to where Patrick was. He was setting up the piano. My eyebrows came together in confusion. I wonder what song they would be doing.

I turned my attention back to Pete. "Um, what song are you guys doing next?" I asked. Pete's eyes didn't meet mine, they fell to the floor instead. He started to fumble with his sleeve and I could tell he was a little nervous. "Pete?" I questioned. I let him have a second and then he raised his head back up. ""What A Catch, Donnie."" He said quietly.

I was taken aback. Why would they do that? Pete clearly didn't really want to. And as far as I was concerned, they hadn't played that song in ages. For a good reason too. Years back, before the hiatus, they were performing the song live during a show. Patrick, who was at the piano, started to get upset and he cried. They stopped playing the song then and they hadn't done it since.

I looked at Pete and I knew that he knew what I was going to say, but I said it anyway. "Is he okay?" Pete turned to look at Patrick for a moment. When he turned back to me he nodded. "I think he is. But he won't say much about it." He told me. I shook my head slowly. "Why does he want to play it?" I questioned out loud. Pete shrugged. "Ever since last night he's just been saying that he wants to."


	7. Chapter 7

_I shook my head slowly. "Why does he want to play it?" I questioned out loud. Pete shrugged. "Ever since last night he's just been saying that he wants to."_ I sighed. "But why?"

There was a moment of silence between us before Pete told me that I should talk to Patrick. "Maybe he'll tell you." He told me. I looked down at my feet as I thought. "Why would he tell me? He barely knows me." I said as I raised my head back up. Pete was smiling at me. "He took a liking to you. Maybe he'll open up to you."He said quietly. I smiled softly back at him. "I don't know if he will or not but I suppose it's worth a try." He nodded in agreement.

Before I left he told me to go see Andy and Joe before Patrick. I agreed happily and then said goodbye to the bassist. I was welcomed by the two of them with smiles. We all chatted for a moment or two before I asked them if they knew why Patrick wanted to play the song. Joe shook his head. "I don't really know. He just kept saying that he wanted to give it another go." Andy agreed as he stretched out his arms. "Ever since last night we've all been hearing about it. He hadn't mentioned it in ages. But, if he wants to do it, we'll do it." I nodded.

I said goodbye to the two of them before I went over to see Patrick. He was standing over the piano with some papers, which I assumed was the sheet music for the song. I walked up behind him and poked him on the shoulder. He jumped a bit before turning around. When he saw me he started to smile as he pulled me in for a hug, which I was not expecting. When he pulled away he patted my shoulder and asked me how I was. I told him I was good and that he and the rest of the band were doing an incredible job. He laughed a bit before thanking me.

"Um, Patrick?" I started. He raised his eyebrows at me, telling me to go on. I took a deep breath to calm myself and when I decided I was good enough I asked him. "I was just wondering if-if you were okay." I spat out the words quickly. His face went blank. I studied it as I picked at the hem of my shirt, looking for any sign at all.

We stood there in silence for a moment, which felt like forever, but was probably 30 seconds. He then started to smile a little bit, but it seemed like a sadder smile than before. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He told me. I let out my breath that I realized I was holding. "Pete, Andy and Joe all said that you want to play "What A Catch, Donnie". And from my understanding, the last time you played it you got really upset, so I just was wondering if everything was good." I told him my worries. His face softened as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I promise I'm okay. If I wasn't I would have told someone. I just feel like it's about time we brought the song back, to give it another go. By now, I should be okay playing it live." He said quietly. I felt a small smile creep onto my face. "Okay, good."

"Well, I guess I'll let you guys get started." I said as I took a step back. Patrick's hand came off of my shoulder and he used it to fix his fedora. "Uh, do you want to stay here? You can sit on the bench with me, if you'd like." He offered. I smiled at the idea but I didn't want to get in his way. I shook my head no. "Um, it's okay. I'll just be right here." I said, pointing to an empty space near the front of the stage. He nodded. "Good luck." I told him. "Thanks." He waved to me as I started down the stairs.

My mind changed as I thought about his offer. Maybe I took it the wrong way. Maybe he wanted someone there with him. Maybe he was nervous. Who am I kidding, I'd be terrified in his situation.

I turned on my heel and headed back up the few stairs there were. Patrick was sitting on the piano bench now and when he saw me he smiled. When I was close enough I spoke. "Maybe I will stay." I told him with a laugh. He laughed too as he moved over on the bench to make room for me. I sat down next to him, folding my hands on my lap. He fiddled with some of the papers on the stand and then put his hands to the keys. I heard him take a deep breath and then start playing.

 _''I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match. What a catch, watch a catch. You'll never catch us so just let me be. Said I'll be fine till the hospital or American Embassy. Miss Flack said I still want you back, yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back.''_ He sang, his voice not wavering. I smiled as he started the chorus.

 _''I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match. What a catch, what a catch. And all I can think of is the way I'm the one who charmed, the one who gave up on you, who gave up on you.''_ I watched his hands on the keys as he played like he had been playing it for years. You could never tell that it had been so long.

 _''They say the captain goes down with the ship. So, when the world ends will God go down with it? Miss Flack said I still want you back, yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back.''_ He continued confidently. _''I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match. What a catch, what a catch. And all I can think of is the way I'm the one who charmed, the one who gave up on you, who gave up on you.''_ He turned to me and winked with a smile during the small pause. I laughed.

Soon, the song came to a close. _''I got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match. What a catch, what a catch.''_ Patrick stopped playing and let his hands fall on his laps, his mouth turned up with a little smile. I turned to him, me wearing a smile as well. ''That was brilliant.''


	8. Chapter 8

_Patrick stopped playing and let his hands fall on his laps, his mouth turned up with a little smile. I turned to him, me wearing a smile as well. ''That was brilliant.''_ I told him happily. He mumbled a thanks before we heard Pete speak into the microphone at the front. "Let's give it up for Patrick." The whole gym erupted with cheers and clapping. Me and Patrick, each of us watching the audience, both started laughing. I didn't notice Patrick turn back around.

"Madison." I heard my name come from his mouth so I turned around to face him. The look on his face made the corners of my mouth turn down. He wore a blank expression which frightened me a bit. "What's wrong, Patrick?" I asked quietly. He didn't answer for a moment and all I could focus on was my heart beating out of my chest. "Let me see your wrist." He said flatly.

My eyes widened as I realized what was going on. I shifted in my seat, my first instinct was to leave, to walk away, but I knew that that wouldn't be the best idea. I looked down at my lap, where my arm lay, noticing for the first time that my sleeve was rolled up to about the elbow. How could I have been so stupid?

I looked back up at Patrick and swallowed. A few seconds later I raised my arm a bit in his direction. He reached out and grabbed it gently. He looked down and turned my arm over in his hand so that he could see the few cuts that were on the inside of my wrist. He studied them carefully and I saw his expression change. He looked sad now.

He took my hand in his as he raised his head to look at me. He took a deep breath before he spoke. ''Madison, I want you to promise me something, okay?'' He started. I nodded quickly, my eyes not leaving his own. ''I want you to promise me that you'll try to stop. This-this won't help anything.'' He stuttered a bit. ''This will only make it worse. I promise.'' It took me a minute to get the words out. I knew that as soon as they were out there, I would have to try. I didn't want to let him down. ''I promise.'' I said quietly. The corners of his mouth turned up a bit into a small smile. ''It gets better, you know.'' I felt my breathing slow back down to normal and I grinned in response. ''I hope so.''

After my conversation with Patrick I went back out to watch the rest of the concert with Louna. She pulled me into a hug when she saw me and she asked me a billion questions. I nodded slowly as she talked, my mind still mostly back with my conversation with Patrick. When they started playing again, she started singing along to the songs that she knew and dancing along with the ones she didn't. Me, grateful that she was done asking me things, watched their performance happily, a smile never leaving my face.

When they finished the last song, ''Just One Yesterday'', they said thank you and people started filing out of the gym. I let Louna pass me, saying another quick goodbye, and I pushed my way again threw the crowd of people going the opposite way. When I reached the front the band were putting their instruments away. None of them noticed me at first so I leaned on the stage for a second and got their attention. ''That was brilliant.'' I told them. All four of them turned to look at me, smiling. Joe bowed and Pete threw his pick at him jokingly. ''Glad you enjoyed it.'' Andy chimed in.

As they packed up we all chatted. I told them about school and my classes and in return they told me about their upcoming tour. At the mention of this, I spoke up. ''I'm going to one of the shows. I'm not sure if I told you guys.'' Pete raised his eyebrows as he walked over to me. ''Really, what one?'' He asked as he sat down on the edge of the stage next to me. ''Bangor on June 20th. I'm doing both my exams on the same day so that I can go.'' ''Isn't that pretty far from here?'' I heard Patrick say. ''It's about 8 hours across the border. My whole family are leaving the day before to drive down. Then we're coming home the morning after the show.'' I told them. ''That's awesome, Madison.'' Andy said. I smiled. I really couldn't wait.

''How about we do something when you're down?'' Pete asked. All the guys nodded in agreement. ''Like what?'' I asked. Pete shrugged. ''How about dinner?'' Patrick suggested. I thought about it for a second and then nodded. ''That'd be great.'' I added. ''Friday night maybe. You''ll be in Bangor by then, right?'' Pete continued. ''Yeah, I should be there around lunchtime.'' ''There, it's settled!'' Joe exclaimed. We all laughed.

After a few more minutes, I knew I would have to go. I pushed myself off of the stage and turned to face the guys again. ''Thank you guys so much for everything.'' I told them. Andy shrugged his shoulder with a smile as I heard a chorus of ''no problem's''. I laughed and then turned to head out of the gym. ''Wait.'' I heard a voice behind me so I turned back around. It was Patrick. He jumped off the stage and walked up to me. When he reached me he held out his hand and said; ''Give me your phone for a second.'' I nodded and reached down into my boot where my phone was. I pulled it out and handed it to him. I watched as he unlocked my phone (no password) and proceeded to contacts. He made him self a contact and then passed me back my phone.

''Give me a call or send me a message whenever you need to talk, okay?'' He said. I nodded slowly, my mind traveling back to earlier. ''And remember your promise.'' ''I will.'' I shifted my weight on my feet. Patrick smiled as he once again pulled me into a hug. When he pulled away he patted me on the shoulder. ''We'll see you in Bangor.'' He told me as he started to back away. I smiled. ''I already can't wait.'' I said as I too backed away from the band. With one more glance at them I was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Enjoy this next part!_**

 _''We'll see you in Bangor.'' He told me as he started to back away. I smiled. ''I already can't wait.'' I said as I too backed away from the band. With one more glance at them I was gone._

People say that time heals everything. That the more distance you put between yourself and your troubles the easier it will get. They're wrong. My god, are they wrong.

It's been two months since I last saw the band. Two months since that wonderful day where I closed off one horrible part of my life and opened up to a new one. Two months since the promise. Two months since I was a peace for a little bit.

The end of the school year brought pain and tears, along with sleepless nights and boring days. I wanted it to be over. I didn't want to have to try at all. But, of course, I couldn't find it in myself to end it. There was a small light that was shinning in the distance and that light was the day of June 19th. All I had to do was make it till then.

The day before, I woke up and went to school to write my two exams, Math and French. I wrote the French one with the rest of my class,which took up my morning. When I finished that I had a half hour break before I had to go take my Math one. The hours dragged by and I found it hard to focus but eventually I finished. I got up and brought the test to my teacher who was teaching my class in the other room. She took it with a smile and told me I could go.

That night, I packed my bags with everything I would need for the next few days. My clothes, jewellery, electronics, my favorite novel and my Sudoku book. I made sure that I had my headphones on top of my bag for the long trip, and then went to bed, putting up with yet another sleepless night.

When morning came, I felt better, knowing that I would get to see the band by the end of the day. I got dressed, pulling on a two-toned burgundy top where the sleeves went to my elbow and a pair of black ripped jeans. I had a pair of tan ankle boots on and my hair was up with an elastic. I wore a watch and a small black cat bracelet on my wrist as well. I had some waffles and finished getting ready. Soon, I was rushed out the door by my parents.

It takes 7-9 hours to drive from my home in Nova Scotia to Bangor, Maine. It depends on which route you take, really. I drowned out everything around me and focused on the music playing from my phone for the entire ride. My excitement grew with each mile closer we got.

We crossed the border and got into Maine around 2:30pm. We couldn't check into the hotel until 3pm so we drove around in downtown Bangor to kill some time. We found the venue for the concert, an outdoor pavilion, and it finally hit me. This was happening. This was actually happening.

About an hour later we were all checked into the hotel. I had chosen my bed and I had my bag dumped on the floor next to it. Patrick and the rest of the band were going to be here around 4:30pm to pick us up so I had plenty of time to do what I wanted for a bit. I decided to do a Sudoku game while the rest of my family; my mom, dad and sister, watched TV. By the time I was done I knew that I should probably clean up a bit before they got here. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Five minutes later, I heard my sister yell that they would be here soon. "I know, I'm just cleaning up." I yelled back. I was putting my hair back up when I heard a knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat as I heard the door open and the sound of voices in the room. I finished my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn't necessarily happy with what I saw but I did feel a lot better than I had been lately which made me smile.

I opened the door to find everyone crowded into our small room. Seven heads turned to look at me but I didn't care. Patrick, Pete, Andy and Joe were all smiling at me and saying "hi". I went up to Patrick, who I had been talking to a little bit since I last saw him, and he pulled me into a hug. He whispered a "hello" in my ear and I couldn't help but smile. I pulled away from him and he was smiling too. "Hi." I laughed a bit. I then in turn went and gave a hug to the rest of the band. When that was done Pete spoke up. "How have you been?" He asked me. My head started running as I thought about everything that had happened. I didn't want to talk about it all right now. "I'm great. What about you guys?" I asked. "We're fantastic." Joe said. "The tour has been great so far. The turn out has been amazing." Patrick told me. "That's great news!" Patrick nodded. "So, are you excited for tomorrow?" Pete asked. I nodded vigorously. "I haven't been this excited for anything in a long time." I told them. "I'm just happy it's finally here."

A few more minutes of chatting later, Patrick spoke up. "So, I've had this craving for a few days now. I was wondering if Applebee's works for everyone." I looked round at everyone. Nobody disagreed. "Great." He said happily. "Now we have to talk about how we're getting there."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Okay, an update yay! I'm really sorry, once again, that it's taking me so long to update. I'm still quite busy with school and stuff so I haven't had a lot of time to write. Hopefully, though, with summer fast approaching, I'll have some more free time. Until the next update, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves and these last few months till school's out! Thanks again and enjoy!**_

 _"Great." He said happily. "Now we have to talk about how we're getting there."_ I nodded slowly. Patrick looked at me as he spoke. "We brought both our van and my car." Pete started laughing. Both me and Patrick turned to look at him. The corners of his eyes were crinkled as he spoke in between his laughing. "Patrick, it's like 20 years old, dude. It's not safe. It always breaks down." I turned to look at Patrick with my eyebrows raised in question. He looked annoyed with Pete. "It actually has never broken down, she runs beautifully." "She?" I asked. His eyes widened. "I don't want to talk about it." I giggled.

"Anyways. As I was saying, well, about to ask really, do you want to come with me for the drive?" He asked. I thought about it for a second but really, I already knew my answer. "Okay, just as long as it doesn't break down on the way." Patrick smiled and promised it wouldn't.

Then I heard the dreaded voice of my sister behind me. "Mom, can I go with Madison and Patrick?" I cringed. "You'll have to ask Patrick." My mom told her. I looked towards Patrick, waiting for a response. His eyes met mine and I looked away quickly. "Yeah, of course." He said politely. My stomach fell.

"I guess I'll come with you guys. But, I swear to god, Patrick, if that car breaks down and I don't get my pizza, you're gonna pay, big time." Pete said, jokingly. Patrick patted him on the back as he passed him, going into the hall. A look of realisation hit Patrick's face. He pointed to my parents as he spoke. "Do you guys wanna take the van with Joe and Andy?" He asked them. My mom shook her head. "No, we have a car we can take." She replied. Patrick nodded.

"Alright, let's go!" Pete yelled from down the hall. He was already out the door before any of us even started towards him. Me and Patrick walked together down the hall in silence for a few seconds. Then he spoke up. "When your sister asked to come you didn't look too happy. Is everything okay?" He asked me. I nodded slowly. "It's nothing, really." I told him. He nudged my arm softly to keep me talking. "It's just that every time I do so much as mention you guys at home, she goes off and tells me you guys suck and that I'm wasting my time. But, as soon as we're here she loves you. It just annoys me, that's all."

Patrick chuckled a bit and I shot him a glare. He mumbled 'sorry' before he spoke again, just a little over a whisper. "I know what you mean, I really do. It's a sibling thing. They hate everything until it has a presence." He said. I looked down at my feet. "Don't take it personally." He finished.

We continued to walk in silence as we made our way outside to the hotel parking lot. When the doors opened I had to shield my eyes from the sun but the warmth was welcoming. You drive 9 hours from home and it's like a whole new world. Or climate. Both, really.

My eyes widened as I noticed what must be Patrick's car. It was a greyish Honda, possibly a civic, I couldn't tell, but it was clearly very old, definitely over 15 years. "Wow, that sure is an old car. Promise me again it won't break down." I teased him. He laughed as he walked up beside the drivers side. I sped up to pass Pete, heading towards the passengers seat. As soon as I touched the handle, he spoke up behind me. "No, I don't think so sweetheart." He said jokingly, but with a serious undertone. I turned to look at Patrick who was smiling at me. He nodded a little before I turned back to Pete. "Actually, Pete, I think that I get shotgun this time." I told him, amused by the situation. "Yeah, Pete, she's our guest today, she gets the front." Patrick chimed in. Pete's mouth turned down into a frown as I opened the car door. As he passed me I laughed. "I win, Peter." He flicked me off jokingly as I got in.

The inside of Patrick's car was... very clean. He had most certainly spent a lot of time on it. Guys and their cars, I'll never understand.

I heard another door slam before Patrick started the car. I knew it was my sister and automatically I rolled my eyes and let out a puff of air. Patrick noticed and patted my leg kindly before putting the car into reverse and then leaving the parking lot.

"It's only about a ten minute drive." Pete told me. I turned to look at him. "How do you know?" I asked curiously. "We've been here a few times. This is Patrick's favorite restaurant." He laughed a bit. I looked at Patrick and he was shaking his head slowly, a grin dancing across his lips. I noticed his face was a little red from embarrassment and laughed.

We drove in silence for a few more minutes until I couldn't take it any longer. I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket and turned it on, going to my music and hitting shuffle. "This Is Gospel" by Panic! At The Disco came on and I started to sing as a joke. I sang the first verse by myself and then Patrick joined in on the chorus. By the end of the song, Pete, Patrick and me were all belting out the lyrics (my sister didn't know it). It ended as we pulled up to the restaurant.

Patrick parked the car and I heard Pete unsnap his seat belt. "Last one in is a rotten egg." He yelled as he jumped out of the car. My sister followed suit. I was about to leave when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned to look at Patrick. "Can we just talk for a minute?" He asked.


	11. Chapter 11

_**ONE WEEK SINCE THE LAST UPDATE YAY I'M ON TIME! ENJOY THIS NEXT PART WOOT**_

 _I was about to leave when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned to look at Patrick. "Can we just talk for a minute?" He asked._ I looked past him out the car window to see the rest of the band and my family walking into the restaurant. I turned my attention back to Patrick and nodded. "Sure." I realized my voice was shaky, giving away my nerves a bit. I knew what he wanted to talk about. It was evident.

"How has it been?" He asked softly, trying to tread carefully but at the same time being firm. "How have you been?" I took a deep breath before I answered, figuring out the best way to say it, to tell him everything but not, at the same time. "I was clean for about three weeks, everything was good. Then I relapsed-went clean for another week. Did it again, clean for another three days or so and relapsed again. I've been clean for about four now." I told him. I felt my eyes water up a little so I bit my lip to try to stop it. He has been the first person I've told about the past few weeks. I mean, I haven't told him everything but this was a bit of it. It's a start, I guess.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and for a split moment, I thought he was going to get mad at me, but his expression changed to sad, a sad smile that made me want to cry more. He pushed his glasses up his nose and sniffed before he spoke. "Alright. That's not bad. I'm proud of you." His words sent waves of confusion through my body. "What? Why? I screwed up, I didn't get better." It came out a little harsh, as had most of the things I've said lately have. I immediately pulled back from him, hoping my words would follow, but they didn't. They were out there and I felt bad, guilt washing over me. I was about to say 'sorry' but Patrick cut me off. "But, you are getting better. You're trying and that's all I could ask for. Just keep trying. That's the best thing you could do." He was soft about it and I could tell he was genuine. I didn't feel the urge to cry anymore and I smiled slightly up at him. He smiled back. "These things take time, they don't heal quickly. I just want you to try your best, that's all I would like to see." He told me. I felt my eye itch so I raised a hand to do so. I laughed a bit as I saw the concern on his face. "I'm okay. I'm not crying." He chuckled. "It's okay."

"Want to head inside now?" He asked me. I nodded as I pulled my hair tighter in it's elastic. I heard him open his door so I followed suit. I stepped out onto the pavement and took a deep breath. The fresh air was good, it helped me clear my head. I knew I had to play it cool in that restaurant. I couldn't let on to anyone what had been going on, I also knew that I didn't want to worry Patrick anymore than he already was.

"Come on, I'm starving." He said with a laugh from the other side of his car. I turned towards him and smiled. "Me too." I replied as I walked towards him. He held his arm up as I approached him and when I was in reach he placed it over my shoulder. This made me smile even more. The two of us walked into the restaurant in comfortable silence.

Inside, we found the rest of the band and my family sitting at a long table in the middle of the room. When we came in to sight, a chorus of hello's were said. Me and Patrick sat in the two empty seats near the middle that were next to each other. My mom passed me a menu from a few seats down and I took it gladly. I really was hungry. I opened it and started to look through for something that I was allowed to eat. Not much looked too appealing but I did find some fish n' chips, my favorite food but one that I wasn't necessarily suppose to eat.

"Do you know what you're going to get?" Patrick asked from next to me. I turned to look at him and then back to my menu. "Um, I think so. I'll just be back in a second." I told him quietly. I avoided his gaze as I got out of my chair to head towards my mom. I did it quickly to subdue further questions.

When I reached my mom she turned to me with a concerned look on her face. I felt my eyebrows come together in confusion but I rubbed it off. "I'm fine." I told her. The look fell from her face. I pushed a strand of hair from my face before I asked. "I was wondering if I could have some fish n' chips." I asked kindly, using my nicest voice. I tried to make myself look cute but I don't think it worked. My mom sighed and I shrugged in response. "Let me talk to your dad." She told me. I smiled as I nodded.

I let the two of them talk for a few moments. I didn't interfere in case they would say no. Fish n' chips couldn't do that much damage, in all honesty.

"Fine, you can have them. But, no dessert with it." She told me. My face lit up. "Thank you." I said quietly. I then turned back towards my seat. I looked up to see Patrick looking at me. I smiled slightly at him as I sat down next to him. He turned to me with yet another look of concern. Why do people always do that. "Is everything okay?" He asked me. I looked him in the eye and told him; "Everything's fine."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Alright, yay, new part! I'm really excited about this one because it opens so new doors with Madi and her relationship with the guys, especially Patrick. I hope you guys like it!**_

 _"Is everything okay?" He asked me. I looked him in the eye and told him; "Everything's fine."_ He hesitated for a moment before he nodded. He then turned to talk to Joe, who was sitting next to him. I zoned out as I pretended to pay attention to their conversation. I think at one time I heard one of them say 'Elisa' so I knew they had to be talking about Patrick's wife but I didn't know what about her they were. I just stared at the table I was sat at, for who knows how long, enjoying a little moment of feeling normal.

I guess Patrick noticed the blank expression on my face. I was drawn back to my senses when he touched my arm. I looked up and realized his face was quite close to mine. His eyes looked worried. I squeezed my hand together and noticed that I had a hold onto Patrick's sweater. I blinked quickly and released my hold on it awkwardly. "Hey..." He said quietly. My breathing quickened as I started to panic a little. "You okay?" I shook my head softly and closed my eyes. I counted to ten and opened them again. Patrick was still there. "A lot has happened since I last saw you." I started. At this point Patrick looked very worried but I didn't want to try to make it okay. No one else had done that for me over the past few weeks.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone else right now." I told him. He slid his hands up and down his legs as he nodded. I nodded back. "First off, a few days ago, my grandmother passed away. I was really close to her." Sadness filled his eyes and I knew he felt sorry but that wasn't the worst part. "It's okay, I'll get over it." I whipped my nose on the back of my hand quickly. "Next, I've been diagnosed with a heart problem; heart arrhythmia." His eyes widened as I paused. We sat in silence for a second before he spoke. "It's not fatal is it?" He asked. I took a deep breath. "It is if I don't watch how I exercise, my stress and what I eat, yes." I told him. The silence returned. After a few more seconds I continued. "Also, my parents go a divorce a few weeks ago." "What?" He said shocked. He immediately looked up at them across the table, hate filling his eyes. "It's okay." I told him. He turned his attention back to me, sorrow replacing the hate. He reached out and took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over my palm. "I'm so sorry, Madi." He whispered. I took another deep breath and told him it was fine. I then turned away, taking my hand from him and crossed my arms on the table.

I couldn't tell if I was happy that I talked about it or not. Obviously, I was okay with telling Patrick but if it was the right thing I wasn't sure. I guess I would have to find out later, to see how this all plays out or if it will come back to get me.

"Hey, are you sure the menu's alright for you? If it's not we can go someplace else." I heard Patrick say. It felt like all the strings in me snapped. I turned to face him with my eyes wide. "No, the menu's fine. I would've said something if it wasn't. This really isn't a big deal, I can take care of myself, just like I have been. I'm not five, Patrick, I don't want to be treated like a kid. So, just leave me alone." I said really quickly and quite loud. Patrick's eyes widened as he stared at me. My breathing was heavy and as soon as I realized what I had said, regret washed over me. I started to panic and all I knew was that I had to get out of here. "Oh my god..." I said as I jumped from my chair, heading for the bathroom. Nobody tried to stop me and I was glad of that.

By the time I entered one of the stalls in the girls bathroom, tears were flowing down my face. I quickly locked the door and fell to the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest. I always do this. I always push away the people that want to help. I hate it. It's not right. It's not fair.

I sat there for quite a while, crying heavily. I heard someone come in and I tried to stop crying. I held my breath, waiting for them to leave but they didn't. There was a knock on the stall door and my head shot up. "Madi, can I come in?" It was Patrick. I wonder if he knew he was in the girls bathroom? I hesitated for a second before I reached up and unlocked the door. I didn't move from my spot. As soon as I saw Patrick's face I started to cry hard again. He crouched down to sit on the floor, wrapping his arms around me. I didn't argue or fight it. I cried into his chest for what seemed like forever.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, you were just trying to help. I just hate having people feel sorry for me. I don't want to be a burden, Patrick." I told him quietly. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm as he spoke. "It's okay. Trust me, I understand. I just want to make sure that you're okay." He said. I nodded carefully. We sat in silence for a little bit. "I don't like this feeling." I said. Patrick rested his chin on my head. "I know, but I swear it'll pass eventually. You just have to fight it as best as you can." I pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "And I promise I'll always be here to help."


	13. Chapter 13

_Bam, a new chapter! Enjoy!_

 _"I don't like this feeling." I said. Patrick rested his chin on my head. "I know, but I swear it'll pass eventually. You just have to fight it as best as you can." I pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "And I promise I'll always be here to help."_

I guess that was where I learned and finally understood what was going on between me and the band. Ever since I meet them about a month ago they've shown nothing but support for me and they really seemed like they cared. They put in the time to be with me, the time that I am so thankful for. Between the emails, the skyping and even the times like these where I'm actually with them; they've shown me that they care. Which is the craziest thing ever because I look up to these guys so much and the fact that they would even take a second look at me just blows my mind.

I've realised that this is only the beginning of something so much bigger.

As me and Patrick walked back to our table and the rest of the band and my family, I felt a different kind of calm. I don't really know how to describe it but it was nice. Different. But nice.

Soon after we sat down our food arrived. My mom had ordered for me and Pete had ordered for Patrick. I didn't even think twice before starting to eat. I guess I was a lot hungrier than I had thought.

The meal was great and the small talk was even better. Everyone was spitting out jokes and the laughter was nonstop. Even my parents seemed to be having a good time which surprised me seeing as they had been a little apposed to all of this. They even seemed to be getting along themselves. It was probably just for show but still, it was a nice change.

At the end of diner we all made our way back to the cars and the van. Everyone was still laughing which I highly enjoyed. I felt buzzed but obviously not drunk seeing as I'm 16 years old. I was buzzed on all the hype and I suppose my roller coaster of feelings. I felt good.

"Are you guys heading back to the hotel?" I heard Pete ask from behind me. I turned to look at him and then I turned to look at my parents. My mom nodded and I frowned slightly. I turned back to Pete. "Yeah, I think we are." "Dang." He said. The guys headed towards the van and Patrick headed towards his car.

Patrick placed his hand on the handle to his car and suddenly his head shot up. "Guys." He said loudly. The rest of the band looked at him from a few parking spaces over. "Get over here." He told them. Questionably, the guys walked over to where Patrick stood and they all huddled together. I watched them as my family got into our car.

After a few seconds they split apart and Pete was smiling like an idiot. "What's up?" I asked curiously as I strolled over. "We'll meet you and your family at the hotels pool in thirty minutes, okay?" He said. I started to laugh, thinking he was kidding. I was the only one laughing. When I realized this I stopped awkwardly. "You're serious?" I asked. All of them nodded. "Um, okay." Pete started to smile again as he backed away. "See you soon." He waved and then got in the van. The rest of the guys followed. "Alright." I laughed as I made my way to my car.

The ride was pretty much silent but I liked it. It had been a long day of driving and I was pretty tired. A swim would probably be nice. I'm just a little nervous cause I didn't really plan on swimming during this trip. I just brought my suit to make my mom happy. I was worried that one of them would notice my scars.

When we arrived we headed back to our hotel room and we all got changed. I had only brought one suit for obvious reasons, but it was a plain black bikini that I actually quite liked. I threw my black Fall Out Boy tank top and some pink swimmers shorts on overtop and left the bathroom. Once we were all fully dressed and ready we headed down to the pool area.

We used our room key to open the door and I suddenly had a thought. How would the guys get into the pool area? They weren't staying at this hotel. I pushed the thought aside as I took a seat in a chair near the window. It was an indoor pool, about 10 by 7 meters big and there was a twisted slide that I knew my sister would love near the other end. The chair wasn't the most comfortable thing but it would have to do.

My dad was in the pool with my sister when I heard the pool door open. I turned to look and I saw Joe, Patrick, Andy and Pete walk in. In their hands were floaties and pool toys and I laughed at the sight. They had the most serious looks on their faces. They made their way over to a section of chairs a few down from me and they put down all their stuff. Pete was the first one in the pool, yanking his blow-up chair in after him. One by one the guys filed into the water without saying a word. They looked ridiculous.

"Madi, what are you doing? You're on vacation, get in the water!" Pete yelled. Andy swam over and tipped his chair slightly and Pete splashed around, trying to steady himself. "I think I'm good." I said quietly but loud enough for them to hear me. "Go swim, you're being ridiculous." My mom told me. Maybe I was.


	14. Chapter 14

_Woot woot, new chapter! Enjoy!_

 _"Madi, what are you doing? You're on vacation, get in the water!" Pete yelled. Andy swam over and tipped his chair slightly and Pete splashed around, trying to steady himself. "I think I'm good." I said quietly but loud enough for them to hear me. "Go swim, you're being ridiculous." My mom told me. Maybe I was._

I took a deep breath, giving in without further talk, as I sat up in the chair. I swung my legs over the side and felt my feet get cold from the little puddle of water beneath them. I pulled my tank top off first and put it on the chair. I then stood up and carefully took of my shorts. The cool air made me shiver.

I felt self-conscious as soon as I was left in only my bathing suit. My arms went down to rest in front of me, hopefully hiding the many scars that were present on my legs. A feeling of regret washed over me but I knew that I couldn't chicken out now.

I walked over to the side of the pool and sat down on the edge, my feet plunging into the water. It felt nice. "You're serious? You're just going to sit there?" Pete asked me in disbelief. I shot him a look. "Just give me a minute." I told him.

As all four of them watched me, I leaned forward into the pool, letting the cold water engulf me. I was fine now, no one had goggles and their eyes would be blurred under water. They wouldn't see my scars now.

The guys all cheered as I ducked my head under. When I came back up, I was laughing, the relief was contagious. I was at ease.

For the next hour or so I enjoyed my time with the guys. They went down the slide many times, and they even had a competition to see who could make the biggest splash coming out of the slide (Andy won). We all talked and swam and it was really relaxing. I spent quite a bit of time talking to Joe. "How'd you guys get in? You need a room key to get in here?" I asked him. He smirked a bit. "How else do you think?" He teased. I scrunched up my face in confusion and he laughed. I smiled. "We're staying here for the night. We talked it over with management and they agreed, said it would give us a nice break from the bus." He told me. My eyes widened. "Are you serious?" I asked in amazement. Joe's face lit up with a smile. "Dude, that's awesome."

A little while later, I was the only one left in the pool. Everyone was sitting in chairs and eating snacks without me but my self-consciousness was keeping me in.

I caught Patrick's eye and he gave me a worried look. I looked away quickly and kept treading water, focusing on that. I guess he could tell that something was off because next thing I knew, he was crouched down on the edge of the pool in front of me with a towel in his hand. "Are you alright?" He asked me quietly. I looked up at him sharply and contemplated telling him right away. "I'm fine." I told him. He shook his head a little. "Madi, you've been here for the past hour and a half by yourself. Come on out, you'll shrivel up like a prune." I let out a sigh. He already knew about my cutting and these weren't new. I figured I could trust him enough. "My legs...they're covered in cuts, Patrick. I don't want anyone to see them." I told him softly. Realisation flashed over his face as he processed what I had told him. "That's okay. Here-you can use this towel to cover up. I'll help if you like." He said. I nodded.

I placed both of my hands on the edge of the pool. They were dripping water and when I looked at them I realized just how prune-like they were. I pushed myself up and turned as I sat on the edge. Patrick was next to me and when I looked at him, I found him looking at my upper legs. I understood but it made me slightly uncomfortable. "Patrick." I said quickly, getting his attention. His eyes darted up to mine and a sad smile creeped onto his lips.

I reached for the towel and he put himself between me and everyone else, blocking me from their view. I mentally thanked him as he helped me to stand, his hand warm on my arm. I wrapped the towel around myself as I pushed past him, heading over to my chair where my clothes were. He followed suit, sitting on the end of the lounger, facing the pool as I pulled my clothes on overtop of my bathing suit. I let out a sigh of relief, noticing that I had been holding my breath.

I walked back over to where Patrick was and poked him in the shoulder before I sat down next to him. He smiled as I leaned on him a little. "Thank you." I whispered before I indulged into the conversations of the next hour or so.

By 8 o'clock everyone was exhausted from the long day of traveling and everything that had followed. We all made our way through the lobby of the hotel and into the elevator. "What floor are you all on?" My mom asked the guys. "Ah, fifth I think." Pete answered. Joe nodded. My mom pressed the button to their floor and then to our own. We were on the fourth.

When the elevator sounded that we were at our floor everyone went into a chorus of goodbye's. I turned to wave after I had exited the lift and I saw Patrick smiling back. "Sleep well." He said. I laughed as the door started to close. "Goodnight." I replied as the crack disappeared.


	15. Chapter 15

_This'll probably be the last chapter of the summer before school starts back up again for me. For that reason, there will be longer waits between parts and I apologize in advance for that. For everyone that's already started school, I hope it's been good so far and for those who start soon, I hope you have a great year. Enjoy!_

 _When the elevator sounded that we were at our floor everyone went into a chorus of goodbye's. I turned to wave after I had exited the lift and I saw Patrick smiling back. "Sleep well." He said. I laughed as the door started to close. "Goodnight." I replied as the crack disappeared._

The next day was pretty hectic. Me and my whole family overslept until past noon so we missed the eat-in breakfast. We ended up going to iHop instead which took another two hours. Around three we were back at the hotel where my mom, sister and me were prepping to leave for the concert. I pulled a white tank top on with some burgundy shorts. I wore a black and white flannel over top, paired with some slide-on sandals. Casual but cute. I wanted to be as comfortable as humanly possible to avoid any sudden bounds of self-consciousness. The guys had stopped by when we were on our way to iHop. Not much was said because my mother was rushing me but they told us that they'd see us later.

When my mom urged us out of the door and into the car my excitement grew. This was finally happening. Months I had waited, pushing through each and every problem and issue just to make it to here. After today, I knew I could die happy.

When we made it downtown, our first obstacle of the night was finding a parking garage. There were plenty around but for various prices and my mom didn't want to pay a lot. As we drove past the venue, I saw a massive line up that I immediately knew was the queue for the concert. A sudden wash of need fell over me. I needed to get out of this car, I needed to be with the others.

Finally, my mom found a parking garage for pretty cheap. I hopped out as soon as the car was stopped and I slammed my door happily, a smile etched onto my face. My mom paid the man and we made our way down the main road. There were so many people and we hadn't even reached the venue yet. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I took in the downtown scene. I smiled softly as a couple and their child walked by, the little girl wearing a Fall Out Boy onesie.

When we got to the line, I sat down on the ground, my sister following suit. It was still a few hours before the doors were set to open. I got comfortable people watching, taking everything in around me.

After about an hour of waiting I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I reached down and pulled it out, clicking the power button to see what it was. It was a text from Patrick. _You do know you can come in early, right?_ I smiled to myself. _What if I wanted the full concert experience?_ A few seconds later my phone rang. I picked up not bothering to look at the caller ID. "I can literally see you right now. Your sister is tying her shoe." I heard Patrick say on the other end. I scrunched up my face in confusion. "What, no she's-" I looked over at my sister and she was indeed tying her shoe. I laughed. "Where are you?" I asked him. "Turn around and look past the stage and to your right." He told me. I did as I was told and well enough, I saw him standing off in the distance, talking on the phone. "I'm surprised no one else has noticed you standing there." I teased him. "Seriously though, Madi, come in." He said. I looked around at the other people in line. "I don't know, Patrick. I don't want to be rude." I told him. "Madi, now. I'm giving you five minutes to be at the stage." Before I could answer, he hung up on me.

My mom, sister and me all got up and passed everyone else in line. I heard sighs and moans of anger as we got to the front ticket booth. "You can't enter yet, the venue's not open." The older man said to me as we reached him. I rubbed my sweaty hands on my shorts as I pulled out my ticket. "Um, I know the band personally, sir. They asked me to come in now." I said carefully. "Which band?" He asked. "Fall Out Boy." I replied. "And your name is?" "Madison Isaac." He looked down at the booth and seemed to be flipping threw a stack of papers. I held my breath. "Well, lucky you. Your name is on here. You can go on in." He held his hand out for our tickets. I sigh with relief as I gave him mine. "Enjoy the show." He told us as we passed him. I turned back to smile at him. "Thank you."

The area doesn't seem as big empty as I know it is when my family and me get in. There is row after row of chairs and I see areas of dirt in the pit and grass out on the lawn. On stage, Max's stuff is being set up for his performance. I smile as I see a short guy in a fedora come around the side of it all. I turn back towards my mom to tell her that I'm going to talk to him. She nods as she starts looking for our seats. I quickly make my way towards Patrick.

He looks up before I get to him and the smile he gives me makes my heart flutter. When I'm in reach he puts down some papers that are in his hand and jumps up onto the edge of the stage to sit. He pats the spot beside him and I get up next to him. "Ever been on a stage before?" He asks me. "Does getting my baseball trophy when I was nine count?" He laughs. "I mean performing." I smile. "No, I haven't."


	16. Chapter 16

_**I'm really sorry for the hiatus on this story, I just realized that I haven't updated in about three months! That's too long! So, here's the next part and I hope it makes up for my lack of consistency!**_

 _He looks up before I get to him and the smile he gives me makes my heart flutter. When I'm in reach he puts down some papers that are in his hand and jumps up onto the edge of the stage to sit. He pats the spot beside him and I get up next to him. "Ever been on a stage before?" He asks me. "Does getting my baseball trophy when I was nine count?" He laughs. "I mean performing." I smile. "No, I haven't."_ Somehow his smile gets even bigger. "Do you want to be?" I take a second to process what he said and then I go into the biggest fit of laughter I've had in probably five years. It takes me a while to settle down. "I can't sing." I manage to get out in the midst of my laughter. "Like, I seriously can not. I sound like a cat dying." He laughs. "I'm sure you don't." I nod my head, my eyebrows raised with emphasis.

"You didn't answer my question, though." He points out. I chew the inside of my mouth as I think. "I don't like being the centre of attention, it makes me nervous. I don't like people looking at me-" "I'm looking at you right now." Patrick interrupts. I roll my eyes. "That's fine, I don't care, but if a lot of people were looking at me, I'd freeze. I know I would." I tell him. We both go silent for a minute and I can tell that Patrick is thinking. He's biting his lip in concentration.

"You know that I don't like being the centre of attention." He says quietly. I nod. "I know, but you've had years of practice and experience. You know how to handle it. Plus you can't see past the first few rows without your glasses. I would have no choice but to see the entire place, down to every last seat." I tell him. I know that I'm getting worked up talking about this and I guess Patrick could tell. He puts his hand on my shoulder and lets it fall to my back. He rubs in small circles and I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you worked up." He says. I sigh as I bring the palms of my hands up to my eyes. I rub them slightly before placing them, once again, on either side of me. "It's all good."

"I guess, what I was trying to get at, was that I wanted you to come up with us today for a song or two." Patrick says. I shake my head quickly and immediately feel bad for doing so. "I'm sorry but I can't." He nods. "Plus, I'd rather get the full concert experience with everyone else, you know." I change my tone, trying to make this conversation easier. He smiles at me. "I suppose so." He laughs.

"Patrick, you have to come on back." I hear a voice from behind us. Both Patrick and me turn our heads to see a man walking out onto the stage. "Alright, I'll be there in a minute." Patrick answers. The man walks away after he nods his okay. My eyebrows are raised when Patrick turns back to me. "Marcus." He says flatly and I smile.

"That's the cue that people are gonna be coming in now so I do actually have to get back there." He tells me. "Okay." I reply. He sighs in a kind of wondering way. "I want you to enjoy tonight, okay? You've been waiting for this for ages and you made it. I'm proud of you for doing that. You know, we all are. This, this is your day off, were nothing else should matter. You made it here when I know you thought you wouldn't-enjoy it. Please." He says softly but surely all the same. I feel the corners of my mouth turn up into a grin. Someone finally said it.

A lot of people get sympathy for being diagnosed with a terminal disease like cancer and then if they beat it, it's like they've won the world. Everyone acknowledges it. As they should, it's amazing, it would be such a blessing. The happiness would be overwhelming. But there are others, who struggle more quietly and more privately. When that person begins to feel better or achieves something great for them personally, it's not really widely known. They don't get the same praise as some others do. But, really, it's all the same. You're beating something that could potentially kill you. And that person might be so happy with themselves but it seems like no one else cares. But here, someone finally said it, someone finally acknowledged it and in this second, I really believed him.

I stared at him for a second, trying not to cry, appreciating him and how kind he is. When I compose myself, I sincerely say "thank you" and he leans in for a hug. "You really do deserve this." He whispers in my ear. I nod into his shoulder. We stay like this for a minute not saying anything. I just can't get over how nice he is and it overwhelms me. "Patrick!" Someone yells and he pulls away suddenly from me. "Okay, I have to go." He laughs as he stands up. I jump down off the stage and onto the dirt ground. I turn to face him and he's smiling. "I want to see you dancing and singing." He tells me as he backs away slowly. I shake my head. "Ha, not in a billion years." He raises his eyebrows. "You say that now but I'll get you to dance one day." I hear him laugh one more time before he's out of sight.

I make my way over to my mom and sister, who have found our seats. We're off to the right, nine rows back from the pit. As I watch the people pile in, I can't help thinking that this is going to be the best time of my life.


End file.
